


Blood in the Demons

by hedaclexuh



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Clarke is really damaged, Gen, wanheda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 11:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedaclexuh/pseuds/hedaclexuh
Summary: You can run from your feelings but they're faster and stronger. They'll catch up to you eventually.





	Blood in the Demons

Everything was moving in slow motion. She could feel everything all at once yet she was painfully numb. Her hands were shaking and her mind was racing and her heart was breaking and she was running. She was running as fast as she could through the forest and her blonde hair was whipping behind her and her arms and face were stinging from being hit with tree branches but she couldn't stop because she feared what might catch up with her. 

She knew she was completely alone in this world now. She could feel it. Her heart was cold and her stomach was constricted and her mind was empty aside from the constant order to keep going. Keep running. She couldn't stop because if she did her feelings might catch up with her. 

Her hands shook with the knowledge her mother wouldn't have her back home. Her feet stumbled when she realized her best friend moved across the country to escape the mess they had gotten into. That was the thing though, he could leave. He didn't have thousands of people counting on him. She realized then that she had inadvertently chased him away. Her blue eyes stung when she thought of her father, crushed under a piece of equipment and never able to come home. He would never be able to wrap his strong arms around her again. 

She was alone and she didn't know what to do. Maybe, she thought, if she ran for long enough, she could get so lost in the forest she won't be able to find her way home and nothing would be able to find her. 

The world had failed her. She was eighteen years old and everyone she loved had been destroyed. 

She thought of the woman on the street who had looked at her, worried. "Are you alright, dear?" 

Of course she wasn't alright. The tears had already been streaming down her cheeks for some time and her hands were shaking with the knowledge she had destroyed another life. Her eyes were staring blankly at whatever happened to be in front of her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from stumbling over her own feet every few steps. 

Nothing was okay and nothing would ever be okay again. Clarke was alone in the world and she had no where to go, no one to turn to and no possibility of survival. She was eighteen years old and had been forced to do things people twice her age couldn't even dream of. She couldn't live with herself, with the knowledge of what she'd done. How could she expect anyone else to live with it for her? To take her into their arms and whisper comforting words as she shook with the sobs for those she lost? No one could ever love her. No one could ever forgive her. She dug her grave all those years ago and now she had to lie in it. 

Her life was a nightmare she could never wake up from and she was so so tired of running, of surviving. 

She had done the unthinkable. Her hands were stained crimson red with blood and she could feel them cracking as it dried. She couldn't escape from who she was anymore. She was stuck living this life until it was over. The thought of it ending didn't comfort her. Clarke knew she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to close her eyes and be relieved of the burdens of the lives she took, the lives she ended, the lives she ruined. She didn't deserve to be relieved of the burden of her thoughts. She deserved to live and suffer through every day and deal with what she had done. 

This war went so much deeper than anyone knew and when she had first gotten involved she thought she was one of the good guys. She thought she could do right by the world. But what she didn't see was how dark everything surrounding her turned. She didn't notice the flowers wilting and the water turning to mud beneath her finger tips. Wherever she went, death followed. She was the mighty Wanheda. Everyone bowed to her. Everyone feared her. Nobody stood in her way. She had climbed through the ranks and came out on top. This was her world. Her city. And she didn't want it. She was done with the responsibility, the suffering, the lonely nights, the killing. But she had people to protect. Her people needed her but all she could think of was the danger she put them in. 

Her father was killed and it tainted her heart black. After that she couldn't turn back. She left home and found a new one among the strongest gang that ran through the city's streets. She turned into a killer under their orders. She thought it would help, thought she would feel powerful and free. 

She killed Wells. She killed two hundred kids, hardly trained, sent by a rival gang from the other side of town. She killed three hundred innocents after interfering with a drug pickup that didn't belong to her in the first place. She killed Finn. 

_Oh god _, she killed Finn with a knife to the heart and it was as if she could feel the sharp dagger cut through her own flesh at the thought of it. She loved him and it put him in danger. It made him a threat. She was blind.__

__Wherever she goes, death follows and there's nothing she can do to stop it._ _

___" _I am become death, destroyer of worlds. _" ____ _ __

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to play around and practice with writing more emotions into my work so everything got kinda poured in here.  
> I might make a series of one shots just where I practice different techniques I want to work on and to hear feedback but I know I already have so many things started (why do I always do this to myself)  
> If I do end up doing that I need to work on writing in different points of view because for some reason I lost the ability to do that in the span of the couple years I stopped writing.  
> Thank you for reading and leave kudos/comments if you feel inclined.


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